Happy is as Happy Does

I had a moment yesterday where I just looked around me at all the surroundings, the trees, the clouds, took in a breath of fresh air, and thought to myself, “Hey, this is life. And it’s pretty good.” I was just grateful for nothing specific. Happiness doesn’t always have to be about something, at least readily identifiable anyway.

I know when I hear other people say things like that and I’m not in a similar frame of mind, I get the feeling that they’re oblivious and they should be summarily flogged. How can they dare be that way when there’s all sorts of gloom in the world? Princess Buttercup accused Westley of mocking her pain. But he pointed out that life is pain, highness. Acknowledging it and/or trying to rise above it doesn't have to be mockery.

Occasionally you’ll hear someone say to you, “Have a nice day.” And sometimes I’ll be thinking, “What if I don’t want to have a nice day?” Why are they forcing me to have a nice day? I might not be able to afford such a wide mood swing. Now, if they want to say, “Have a nice day three days from now,” then that could give me more time to plan and get in the proper mindset. Let's be realistic here. I’ll have to respond to the standard 'have a nice day' next time: “I wish I could, but I’m just not that impulsive.” Give me a little more lead time, and I may be able to comply.

But in general, 'have a nice day' is a endearing sentiment for them to express, if done sincerely. It can say to me, “I hope you’re able to work through the difficulties of the day, that you have time to enjoy the finer things in life and just appreciate being alive.” I want you to have a nice day, with the disclaimer of all other things being equal, assuming things aren’t too burdensome for you now, and that you have the necessary tools at your disposal and people who can support you. But that’s too hard to say at the checkout counter. Yet it could be what they mean. We'll give them the benefit of the doubt, if it comes with a smile and eye contact.

This has also made me wonder if maybe the only way to be happy all the time is simply to be a masochist, because they’ve used reverse psychology on life. To enjoy pain seems, after all, like a great strategy, doesn’t it? If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em, right? Well, I’m not finding many self-help books that take that tack. I’ll keep looking. Self-Defeating Behaviors wasn’t exactly a recommended practice.

Perhaps the way we can turn this around is to use pain to our advantage by learning from it, by taking it as a challenge to show what we’re made of. Obviously easier said than done. I can blog all day in yadda-yadda-land about ideals and platitudes, but when the rubber hits the road, that’s the real defining moment. So anyway, it’s something to shoot for. It's worth a try.

When I think of optimists, I’m curious how they truly deal with the inner struggles they have, and if they’re able to live up to what they profess. I’ve been reading Tony Robbins’ book Awaken the Giant Within, and his positive enthusiasm is infectious. I think to myself, “Can someone really have a continuous attitude like that?” Optimists are just realists in denial, aren’t they? No more than a glorified wishful thinker, I surmise.

I'm sure Robbins, like anyone, is not immune to rough moments, but he seems to have discovered how to approach them so that they have the least amount of negative impact. He's given lemons and sprinkles it on his halibut. Then he says, "What else ya got?"

I have the feeling Robbins is teaching me some life lessons without my even realizing what they are on a conscious level. But that’s okay. I don’t have to be informed of everything if I’m confident it’s all in place and will fit together somehow. For each medication we take, do we need to know all the inner workings of the chemical reactions that are going on in our systems in relation to the drug? The doctor needs to know this, but we just need to know the doctor.

Tony Robbins said the perspective we take determines our situation. In our various circumstances, there might be a way to generally turn our situations around with positive thinking. In about three of the last five books I’ve read by sundry authors, they’ve mentioned that positive or negative emotions can be the result of our facial expressions, our posture, and our speech, among other things. We can actually generate emotions with these built-in commands. The subconscious will take suggestions. Bring it on.

So maybe we don’t always need something to be happy about, but can just be happy for the sake of being happy. It could happen…